I say it every month and this month is no different… I cannot believe that you are five months old today! So much has changed this month (I’m pretty sure that I say that every month too). Watching you grow is a pleasure – every day. There’s been a ton of growth this month, for both of us.
I started back at work this month and I was, quite honestly, feeling really guilty about it. The thing is, now that a few weeks have passed it feels almost normal. It feels almost normal that I drop you with the nanny 4 days a week and only see you for a couple of hours a day. It feels sort of normal that we rush around in the morning trying to get out the door with some semblance of a schedule. I sort of hate that it feels normal. I miss you all day and feel so lucky on the days when I can sneak in a short visit to cuddle, kiss, and feed you.
For the first time, yesterday actually, it seemed like you were really excited when I walked in the door to pick you up. You always recognize me, but yesterday you were sitting in the bouncer, looked up at me and sort of lifted your arms suggesting that I pick you up. I can’t really put it into words, but the look was different than normal. The look said, “Hi mommy, I’m glad you’re here”. It’s like the smile that you give me or dad in the morning when we come in to pick you up from your crib. That drowsy, genuine smile brightens my entire day. The look when I came to pick you up from the nanny made my night.
You’re laughing more often and for longer these days. You think that your daddy is hysterical (sometimes I do too). You always giggle when I change your diaper, especially at the mention of clean tushies. It’s the highlight of our day to hear those laughs – no matter when they come. So very real. So very perfect.
This month you got your first cold and seemed helpless and miserable with a stuffy nose. Even though I know that you didn’t feel good and couldn’t breathe well you never lost your relaxed, happy demeanor. I don’t know where that personality comes from, but I hope it lasts forever. You’re so cool, Simon.
We had a couple of weird sleep nights, but generally you’re doing awesome with sleep lately. You’re alert and active (and always on the move!) between naps and you let us know that it’s time for sleep when you get a bit fussy – when you’ve had enough you get quiet and as soon as you get rest you’re back to being calm and happy and smiling. Oh those smiles…
You are constantly “talking” to daddy and me, which we love. All day we ask you to tell us your stories and we do our best to have conversations with you. Your high pitched chatter reminds us a bit of a pterodactyl, especially with the added excited arm movements that look like you’re about to take flight.
You are gaining your independence. You choose toys when given the chance and you LOVE to roll all over the place. Everything in arms reach goes into your mouth. Gone are the days where we can leave you unattended and know that you won’t budge – it’s time to put a safety gate at the top of the stairs and lower your crib.
At night you are extra cuddly but it takes a few minutes to get you settled in long enough to nurse. I realized that if I sing to you you’re able to concentrate and nurse effectively. You stare at me with wide eyes the whole time. Every time I sing to you, actually. You love songs – any song. We sing lots of songs around here.
You are grabbing our faces constantly, especially when dad or I are wearing our glasses. You’re gentle but extremely curious. I hope that you always have that gentle curiosity.
Every day you surprise me with how incredibly resilient and awesome you are.
Simon, your daddy and I love you so much. SO SO SO much.
Keep growing, baby.
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