balancing act.

The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind. I don’t feel like it’s real. I constantly feel like “next week I’ll be back on the road…”. But I won’t. When will this start to feel real?

Maybe it’s because I’m not super duper busy.

Maybe it’s because I don’t feel 100% ingrained in the work yet. People’s names, acronyms, they sort of just fly over my head until I think, “wait a minute, I need to care about that…”.

Yesterday I spent all day in the office, today I am working from home. Tomorrow I am back in the office. This week was unique because my supervisor is actually in Chicago – it’s nice to have her here, but yesterday I also just wanted to come home.

I’m a homebody for sure. When I have the option, I’ll always choose staying home. Not in a I’m an unsocial freak kind of way… just in an I like my comfort zone kind of way. The older I get, the more important “home” has become. Though I truly believe that home is where the heart is.

I haven’t quite found my rhythm yet. My days tend to be super busy in the morning starting most mornings before 7AM (global team means early calls) and a little more lax in the afternoon. I’ve realized that I may actually have to block “work time” on my calendar because I could easily be on calls all day.

I don’t love webcam meetings. I know that this is self-centered and probably considered poor form, but I can’t get over myself when I am on the calls. Oh gosh, my hair looks ragged. Oh man, my glasses and ponytail make me look fat. Oh shoot, I forgot lip gloss. I’m not so much like that in person (though I typically shower before work in person), but on the phone, it’s weird – like people can see every pore and pimple weird. Eventually I won’t care… hey look, I spilled tea on my shirt! Welcome to my unflattering life! But when people don’t know me, I care a little. Maybe I should start showering in the morning even though I will shower again a few hours later after I work out…oh the conundrums.

I don’t know when to fit working out in versus walking the dog versus lunch. I want to do all of those things at once and I haven’t managed to make that work yet. After proclaiming to J that I would make dinner every night (his response? so we’re eating peanut butter and jelly every night? RUDE!), tonight is the first time that I am actually making something (either J’s been doing it or we’ve been eating random leftovers, salads, etc). Lasagna is going in the oven after I grocery and gym. We might eat at 9PM, but I am making a real from scratch dinner, damnit :).

I can’t get over the amount of change and chaos happening, but I also can’t stop smiling. I know I’ll find my groove and I won’t be able to imagine a life before work-from-home flexibility. I feel so very very lucky to have been given this opportunity and I know it’s going to change changing my life.

So far things are going really well. I still have new girl fear and I really don’t like the webcam, but other than that, no complaints.

Off to try to be healthy and get groceries!

0 thoughts on “balancing act.

  1. I made Sasha zucchini lasagna last night. It was my first time to make it, and I love cooking, but I am always nervous with new dishes. He eats like a cow, so it was okay.

    I would freak out with webcam meetings as well – never try to Facetime me, I’m the worst because I try to find the best angle the WHOLE time.

    I hope you find your work groove ASAP. I am so anxious to start…

    Chicago = St. Charles. Boooooo.

  2. you are amazing, you truly are.
    you will MORE than figure this out– you will rock it as you already are.
    xoxo.