deep breath.

This week has been a bit of a whirlwind.

I don’t want to talk about the details of my work on my blog because that could lead to all sorts of problems, but in short…

Sometimes I feel like I’m not quite good enough.

I’m working with a new group of really bright, really smart people.  This happens a lot, but I’m also working in an area and on activities that I’ve never done before.  Add in some big personalities and this is my day to day environment.

I love working in Chicago, but I don’t necessarily feel like I’ve found my niche in my new role.  I tend to be one of those people that assumes that everyone around me completely understands what’s going on and that everyone is WAY smarter than me – at all levels.  This is NOT a good trait. Really, I have no basis for this assumption, so I chalk it up to insecurity and I move on.  Usually.

This week though, it’s been more of a nagging challenge than some weeks.

And this week, when I was feeling a bit down, I sent a bunch of “catch up” emails because even when I am having a rough week, I try to take a deep breath and focus on things that I really care about.  Usually that “thing” involves people development.  I wrote to one individual and told him/her about an open role on my team.  He/she (I told you I’m trying not to talk about people / work / specifics) wrote me a LONG email back and the last line was this:

“…I would drop everything and come work there if I could…you better know that.”

That line… that response to coming to work on my team… that line made my week.

[For what it’s worth, I wrote him/her a 2 sentence email that was basically “Hi, I have an opening…interested?”]

Because at the end of the day, being a leader doesn’t mean that I know everything, it means that I can manage a team  by utilizing a diverse skill set and giving people development opportunities.  It also means being a coach and providing feedback.

That last line…. it reminded me that I know how to be a leader.

For me, that’s my favorite part of the job.  It’s the piece that keeps me grounded.

If I can lead a team (and really care about them), I’ll be successful no matter what role I’m in.  I can’t do any of my work alone and I truly believe that knowing that is half the battle.  The other half is having enough respect for the people that work for you to be honest and provide opportunities.

Thanks to (make up a name here) for reminding me that I can work through another day with big personalities and a little apprehension about my skills and it will all come together eventually.

Here’s to getting some good sleep this weekend, getting our new home-office all set up and enjoying time with friends and family.

Oh, and here’s hoping that I don’t screw up my first case interview tomorrow.  Poor MBA candidates 🙂

0 thoughts on “deep breath.

  1. i love you. and you are AMAZING. at your job– and in life. know that without any doubt at all. xoxoxo.