fog lifting.

At 4 weeks (that seems like a lifetime and the shortest month ever!) the fog is starting to lift, the tears are becoming fewer and fewer (mine) and I have started to wear real clothes again – not just Lululemon pants :).

I was thinking about how much we’ve all grown around here – how much we didn’t know 4 weeks ago and just how far we’ve all come.

Unreal.

I can’t believe all of the things that no one told me – even when I said, “tell me EVERYTHING”.

On that list…

  • Babies breathe funny. Like gulping for air, phlegmy breathing. Pediatricians sort of laugh at you when you make a same day appointment because your 2.5 week old is breathing weird. Ok, they didn’t laugh. And they did do an O2 test to ensure that it was nothing… then he said, “this must be your first baby…” In the good news category, perfect breathing is 100 and Simon scored a 98 on the O2 test. So there’s that.
  • Breastfeeding is NOT natural. In fact, it’s hard as hell. And it hurts. Bad. Ok, I knew part of this but experiencing it? Like none other.
  • When my friend gave me a Nose Frida at my baby shower I thought it would be one of those things that I put away and never use. Week 2 comes along and I am sucking snot out of Simon’s nose. I wasn’t even grossed out.
  • Cluster feeding sucks (no pun intended) but being opposed to it isn’t doing either me or Simon any favors. 2 or 3 annoying nights of this and Simon seems much happier going to sleep at night.
  • Ok, someone did tell me this, but I am adding it to this list because I don’t feel like people talk about this… Hormones post pregnancy are MUCH MUCH “worse” than during pregnancy. I didn’t think this was possible, but the amount of tears that I have shed and emotion that I have felt in the last 4 weeks is pretty unbelievable. Ask for support – it is amazing what people will do when you ask for help. I have awesome friends, family and husband.

I have relied on trusted moms in my network SO MUCH MORE than I thought possible. I’ve written emails, texts, and Facebook messages in desperation and I am AMAZED at the support that I get back – from some women that I trust but am not even that close with. Thank you.

Day to day feels like a week at a time and I have learned to appreciate that the sun coming up in the morning is a sign of a fresh start and fresh perspective – I’ve needed a lot of those fresh starts during this 4 week period.

I’ve learned a lot about Simon – so much – even day to day or morning to night. I’m surprising myself with how well I know this kid, actually. 🙂

Simon LOVES skin to skin or just being belly to belly with anyone who wants a sleepy baby on their chest. He has gained a pound and a half, is sleeping in 3-4 hour chunks at night and has officially started to outgrow his Newborn clothes. His chunky cheeks, thighs and arms are the best.

We are reading and dancing and singing a lot. By we I mainly mean me and J – Simon is just along for the ride :). J and I love the Pout Pout Fish books – so far Simon seems a bit uninterested :).

As a random aside…

I was in a bathroom at Nordstrom today and, after nursing Simon in what felt like a very clumsy way, trying to balance Simon without my nursing pillow or comforts of home and hiding behind my Hooter Hider, I was changing Simon and a woman came in and said the best thing I’ve heard in 4 weeks…

Her: How old is he?

Me: 4 weeks today

Her: Your first?

Me: Yes

Her: Wow, you seem so experienced and comfortable.

Me: Ha.

Her: Really.

Thank you stranger. I needed that.

Happy Independence Day – or, as we call it, the day when we play the game “gunshot or fireworks?”.

xx.

3 thoughts on “fog lifting.

  1. You’re a pro! I always think six weeks is the moment I start to feel more like myself. You’re two weeks ahead in my book! And you’re totally right about the whole breast feeding thing.

    Keep on keepin’ on, mama. You’ve got this. 🙂

  2. Pleased to hear you are doing well. Clara cluster feeds quite a lot. One night I didn’t get any sleep at all as everytime I tried to put her in her cot she wanted feeding again! This went on for about 12hrs then as soon as she settled to sleep my 3 year old was up for the day. Breastfeeding is hard, even though ive been through it once before it still takes some getting used to. Be proud of yourself, it sounds like you are doing a great job.

  3. Your last little story totally made me teary eyed. It sounds to me like you are doing a wonderful job at it all – even the tough stuff!! Hope you guys had a nice holiday week!

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