gas ass.

When we woke up this morning, J thought we had a gas leak. I still can’t smell, so I thought nothing of it. Then I went and did my Friday morning routine (gym, etc) and he went and walked the dog. I got a text to call him about an hour later, mid way through my errands. House definitely smells like gas, call gas company.

This is when I am glad that I have a husband who pays copious amounts of attention to his environment.

I get home (J is now gone), windows are open and gas has been turned off at the valve (I’m glad someone in this house knows how things work!).

I call the gas company emergency line, woman is very nice, scares the crap out of me and Cohen and I go stand outside for 20 minutes waiting for gas man.

Gas man comes (very quickly! emergency line works!), checks our condo to ensure that there is no leak, he can’t find anything.

Yay and boo. Where the F is that smell coming from?

Gas man is perplexed.

Gas man and I walk up and down the stairs in the hallway. Gas man smells gas. Gas man’s gas gauge starts beeping.

Gas man starts pounding on neighbors doors. No answers except for neighbor across from me. Neighbor across from me was clearly uninterested in the fact that he could blow up at any minute.

Gas man and I walk around building on the outside.

Gas man perplexed.

Gas man and I go back inside the hallway. Gas man tries knocking on 3rd floor door again (2 floors up from my first floor, 3 floors from my bottom floor).

Half naked man answers door and now, he too, is perplexed.

Stench of gas races into hallway.

I cover nose, gas man goes in to check gas stove in half naked man’s unit.


Gas man: “how long has your stove been on?”

Naked man: “no idea. just moved in recently, haven’t really cooked here.”

Gas man: “did you notice the smell?”

Naked man: “naw (<– he really said that), i just thought i needed to air out the place.”

Gas man: “please be careful and make sure all burners are off after cooking. your neighbors 3 floors down can smell the gas.”

Naked man: “sorry dude, i’m just getting ready for work.”

Gas man as he shuts naked man’s door:… “Idiot.”

And that was my morning.


0 thoughts on “gas ass.

  1. snorted out loud in starbucks.


    but really. that’s unbelievable.

    is it also weird that i was picturing half-naked man in a towel with wet hair like in a movie? don’t people always run into hot neighbors in emergency situations???

    • I’m not sure, but I don’t think J, the gas man and I have super power smelling… I think the gas man was right… idiot 🙂

  2. Um, you need a new neighbor. Kick out naked neighbor, unless he was hot and then give him number and I’ll make sure the burners are turned off 🙂