A conversation with my grandmother (Ma) a long time ago…
Mara: I have an idea
Ma: Well be nice to it, it’s in a strange place.
She was probably 90 at the time. She was quite witty, as evidenced above. She also lived her life with a tremendous amount of poise and grace – or at least, that’s how I remember her.
I’ve been thinking a bit about grace lately. Grace, saying no and living in the moment.
I’ve been having a weird few weeks where I am tremendously anxious about who knows what, constantly. I think it has part to do with the fact that I am still waiting to really start my project and that makes me feel a little sketchy. I know I should get over it because I’m really not doing a thing wrong, but when you’re used to working ridiculous hours every day and then all of the sudden you don’t have to shower until it’s almost time for your husband to come home (so it looks like you were productive during the day), it feels strange.
I say that, but I ended up working til 10PM last night on a spreadsheet that was driving me nuts. So I guess I am working, just not the way I’d like to be.
The other day I was wondering how much money I could make by starting my own dog walking service. The sexiness of dog walking in the movie, ‘In Her Shoes‘ brought about this idea. I mean, she lost weight, she felt happy, she was smiling, the world was on her side… And then I remembered that I hate walking my own dog in inclement weather, so the likelihood of me being eager to walk a random mutt, no matter how much I was being paid, is very low. Also, Cameron Diaz isn’t my sister. So there’s that…
if I want to be an entrepreneur, I should probably figure out another way. Until then, I should keep my day job and relish in the fact that I am home to pick up my packages when UPS rings the bell.
I’ve been doing a little bit of shopping for the Philippines trip. I also got my vaccines today. Progress.
And with regards to living with grace, I’m working on it. I won’t ever be a Southern Belle (mainly because I can swear like a sailor), but I am working on being present. Being mindful, and saying no so that I can stop over-committing.
I left the house this morning without my phone. I freaked out for a minute, but then I did it again when I left to run errands a bit ago – so see, I’m learning. Disconnect. Be present.